How ‘Spectator Sexism’ will be ‘Corrected’ with Football ‘Equality’

[Had thought I’d check out a City game in the post-Guardiola era and sprizzled over to 2025 on my new HGW Mark III time machine.  But it is not the match I’m reporting on; I am simply transcribing a snippet of interesting dialogue I was privy to.]

    “Sir, it’s not my decision.  I can’t let you in – sorry.  Rules are rules.”
    “Damn the rules! I’ve been a Manchester City season ticket holder since I was sixteen.  And now in my middle age I’m . . . I’m . . . blacklisted?!”
    “You’re not ‘blacklisted,’ sir.  I already told you that you are allowed to come to all men’s games for a whole month provided you attend only two ladies games but you have not attended any.  Those are the rules.”
    “And I told you that such idiot rules don’t make any sense!  These ‘ladies games’ are just awful . . . they’re, they’re bloody unwatchable!  Even youth matches are more—”
    “Sir – sir, you are holding up people behind you.  And you shouldn’t talk like that.  What can I say – it’s a new world; an equal world.  You too must be equal.  Please go and attend a few ladies games.  You’ll learn to like them.”

[Seeing as I was in Manchester in 2025, before backsprizzling to 2022 I thought I’d check out the late game down the motorway.  And at Old Trafford I got to catch some more intriguing dialogue.]

    “Sir, you have not fulfilled entry requirements so you cannot be allowed inside.  I am sorry.”
    “What do you mean ‘entry requirements’?  I’ve been coming here to Old Trafford since I was a child!  My season ticket is the only ‘entry requirement’!”
    “Sir, I don’t know whether you know or not but there are certain do’s and don’ts about attendance at football—”
    “Yes, I know!  And I haven’t made any offensive remarks, written racist posts, unfurled prohibited banners, voiced—“
    “Let me stop you right there, sir.  It’s none of those things.  Your record shows that you are guilty of ‘Spectator Sexism’ . . .  
    [Unintelligible and ‘untranscribable’ spluttering and gasping noises.]
    “—for the good of the game you are required to attend at least one women’s football match for every three men’s—”
    “‘Spectator Sexism’?  What – what bullshit!  Wh- why do I have to go see any of those . . . those stupid w-wo-women’s matches in order to watch the real thing?  Has United gone i-i-insane?”
    “Please sir – we are proud to say that in partnership with – kaff! kaff! – Manchester City, Real Madrid, and little Everton, our club Manchester United is a global leader in promoting ‘Gender Equality in Football.’  It is only fair that all our fans be required to watch women’s football matches.”

[‘Spectator Sexism,’ ‘Gender Equality in Football,’ etc. coming soon to a venue near you.] 

[FWIW both Manchester clubs lost 0-4.]